thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
