To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
im having a threesome with these popsicles
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
