ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Randomize
