For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
