Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
