why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
