Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
