i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
