where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
