Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
