She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
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