They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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