It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
