Don't you send me to vm
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
