Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
