..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
