What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
