I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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