We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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