Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
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