Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
