Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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