Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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