Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
