I am in a vortex of obligation.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
