I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Drunk is not a location!
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
