sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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