I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
