He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
