Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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