I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
