I accidentally had phone sex last night
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
