all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
