"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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