Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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