Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
of course. lets lasso hookers.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I am never drinking with the goths again.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
