Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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