Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
