He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
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