Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
