He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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