I'm eating all of the evidence.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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