I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I can't turn off my feet"
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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