69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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