in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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