She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
