Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
