Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Randomize
