we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
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