I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize